Seeing as how Macho Man Randy Savage was the only one to ascend on Saturday, I'm slightly nervous for the rest of humanity. Everyone seems to be just living their life like the rapture didn't happen. People are just going on with their normal lives! So I decided to just stash the stuff that I looted Saturday since the crime would be looked upon slightly more harshly that we still have law and order (duh dum). Oh well, poor Harold Camping. Maybe October 21st will work out for him.
So with the knowledge that we still have a few more months to enjoy this lovely planet, I decided to take my one and only out for a nice long stroll today. Unfortunately, even though my one and only is a slightly intimidating husky, we still manage to attract the crazies. I think that aspect of MC Nickels just seems to follow me home... literally. A few weeks ago while I was walking my dog, a car pulled next to me. I'm used to getting asked directions so I pulled my "Please don't talk to me" headphones down and looked into the car. The (of course) over forty and not rich man asked "Do you remember me?" I feared that I actually met this man at a bar or something before and hesitantly replied "No." "From MC Nickels? Are you off today?" I did not recognize him as a worker and I know almost everyone in the store. I was actually off the whole week, but I told him I was going in later that day and had to head home to get ready, hoping it would get rid of him. No such luck. He followed me the whole way down the street until I got to a park because no way in hell was I going to go home. He turned down one of the side streets used for parking and I bolted my fat ass out of there as fast as my 2 tree trunks of legs could carry me .
But even that couldn't prepare me for the encounter I had today. I am currently on the search for a Fox Mulder to go with me while I walk my dog now. Or perhaps a Ripley. Or even an Elliot from ET could do the trick. I was walking my dog past the daycare a few blocks from my house. A man across the street from us yelled "Pretty dog!" I removed my "Please don't talk to me headphones" and said "Thanks." Then he asked why there was barbed wire on the fence around the daycare. I replied that I hadn't noticed it before and had no idea why they would keep the children in a prison camp type atmosphere. Now I realize it's not to keep the kids in, but the crazies out. Then he introduced himself as "Peter. I'm an alien. From another world." Well, this was the last straw. I was not going to stand there and talk to a visitor from another world in fear that Katy Perry's song "Extraterrestrial" would get stuck in my head. So I tried to hold my composure and said that I needed to keep walking in case it started raining. Well, this did not deter Mr. ALF from following me and telling me "It's not going to rain. My powers allow me to predict and control the weather." I had my "Please don't talk to me" headphones back on and did not have and Reeses Pieces on hand, but he still followed us. My dog was getting rather freaked out (as was I) and turned around and just starting barking at him. Then he started yelling at her that he could not speak her language. I told him that she was scared and he needed to go away or I would call someone. Then ET asked if he could take a picture. I knew it probably wasn't a good idea, but I said yes if he only took a picture of the dog and then crossed to the other side of the street and headed back in the other direction. So that is what finally got rid of him.
The skies have cleared up and it still has yet to rain. So maybe Mr. Roswell actually was an alien who can control the weather. I did see something like that on TV once. And I did see the police outside of my house with LED flashlights searching for something (clearly they were flashlights composited over guns so children wouldn't be traumatized). I do want to believe that the truth is still out there.
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