It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do him... I mean, it.

The menopausal woman in me is acting up again. I still have not found a furry soul mate and it's really wearing on me. Now not only do I want to steal dogs from their poor, unsuspecting walkers, but since I had to end my unhealthy relationship with Netflix, I spend my free time on youtube watching puppy videos. And openly weeping onto my keyboard wondering why I can't find that special someone. However, thanks to the other day at work, I have more pressing matters- how to convince Mike Rowe that working in retail is, in fact, a dirty job and worthy of being on his show. Or at least convince him to come visit Pittsburgh...

So what prompted this new mission? I found shit in the fitting room. Not shit as in "someone left a shit load of clothes in there," but shit as in human excrement. Actually, I didn't find it, another customer did and almost vomited on her way out of the room. It was not a pretty sight. I've given up wondering why people do what they doo doo in the fitting room and sometimes (if I'm not the one who found it) I even chuckle to myself because, well, in the words of Danny Devito in It's Always Sunny, "Poop is funny." This was serious though. Poop is not funny if you're the one who found it/ smelt it. So now I'm just trying to turn lemons into lemonade. Well, they make lemonade in the fitting room too. I guess I really am trying to polish a turd...

So maybe it's still the menopausal woman in me, but I have an awkward crush obsession with Mike Rowe. Don't tell the cool kids cause then they would think I'm a total nerd, but I am an avid watcher of The Discovery Channel and have seen almost every episode of Dirty Jobs. And I have dug up almost every clip of Mike Rowe from his days at QVC. Oh, Mike, QVC was pretty much retail- revisit those days and come to my store.

I guess I take after my mother for awkward obsessions that might go a bit too far (and the age gap that goes with them). However, I do feel that the public needs to see the dirty side of working in retail. Maybe then they won't want to try on clothes. Plus, it's only fair since he spotlighted a mannequin factory for one episode and it was a total cliffhanger- where do the mannequins go after they're made?! To one of the dirtiest places around. Seriously. Name any type of bodily fluid and it has been found in the fitting room and it's probably ground into the carpet (keep your shoes on!). Also, the store has pretty much turned into a giant garbage dump. Done with your chicken wings? Throw them on groooound. Don't be a part of the system, maaaan. Have a small child? Change their diapers in the fitting room and don't worry about picking the dirty ones up. Or have an itty bitty child? Well, there's chairs right out in the open- perfect for breast feeding! Yeah, that's right. All of that happens at least once a week. So take that, pig farm!

This would make me watch QVC.