Catholic guilt. Parental guilt. Wonder twin powers activate! Form of me going church for 3 weeks in a row... and it's not even Christmas. Or Easter.
I went home again this weekend for several reasons. One, I was off... again. It was amazing. Two, my parents have better cable and a warmer house... stocked with food. Three, I had to go home to see that special someone... who is covered in fur. My parents go to church every week. I wouldn't necessarily say they're devout, more like riddled with Catholic guilt and fear of the nuns. And thanks to this same Catholic guilt and fear of nuns with parental guilt as a cherry on top, I end up going to church every Saturday night I'm home. It's not that I'm not religious, I honestly don't know what I am. When it comes to religion, I just assume that Lost got it right and go with that. It's just I have a fear of being struck by lightning every time I step on hallowed ground... or turned to stone. I saw Hocus Pocus, I know it could happen.
I wouldn't say I'm a bad person, per se.... I just say bad things sometimes... that might offend people. A lot of people. But, I mean, the Justice League of the Hereafter has to have a sense of humor, right? Look at my life- if it's not pure knee-slapping good time for some omniscient being, I don't know what is. And my second point... the platypus. Anyway, the inside of a church while mass is going on is not the best place for me, especially since they changed the words to the same old mass that I've been going to since they dunked me in a bucket of water and called me a Catholic. I don't deal with change well, I still say a lot of the old words. Then realize I say the old words. Then say a word that would have gotten my wrist taken clean off had a nun heard me say it in grade school. Hopefully I at least get points for trying?
Then there's the snack time near the end of mass. I actually like the communion wafer. I think they would be able to market them as a healthy and holy breakfast food. Seriously. Instead of people seeing the image of Jesus in a piece of toast, Jesus would BE the toast. However, sometimes they let the wafers sit out for awhile and they go a bit stale... and then it's somewhat difficult to hide my distaste for them. I would say it's still a step up from when I was a kid and truly believed that it WAS the body of Christ... as in cannibalism on the holiest of scales. It makes sense considering I wasn't the best student in religion class. I couldn't remember the authors of the Gospels, but for some reason "John, Paul, George, and Ringo" stuck out in my mind. I got the answer wrong. And I got to see the nun after class. The same nun who caught me outside of class when I wasn't supposed to be and I told her I was, "On a mission from God." The Blues Brothers was my favorite movie... in kindergarten.
Well, hopefully this didn't offend anyone too much. The ever-powerful "they" say never to talk about religion or politics. I guess I didn't mention politics.... so here you are!
(Oh, most of the political stuff is actually posted by the morons on the comments section.)
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