The 90s Really Are All That...And a Bag of Chips

I've been trying to for almost a week to figure out how to write about this customer without sounding like the whiny little bitch I am. Well, even more so than usual. I've had customers insult me by picking on my looks, weight and intelligence, but I've been able to turn the other cheek (after blowing off some steam by writing a totally unbiased account of the incident). But I've never been as angry as I was at this customer, who insulted not only my intelligence, but my entire generation.

Last Saturday, a man who looked like a Hawaiian tourist circa 1960 walked up to my fellow associate's register. He began waving his arms to get my attention, which he did- mainly because I wanted to see if Jimmy Buffet really threw himself into the washed up hippie look. I glanced over and he began his tyrade by thanking us "young girls for working and paying [his] social security." I rolled my eyes and continued with my customer, but still managed to overhear parts of his conversation with the other associate (who is around my age). He told her to save 20% paycheck because social security is going to run out and we're not going to see a dime of it. 20%? Really, sir? I can't save $20 from my paycheck. You realize you were talking to people in a retail store, correct? And, yes, we all realize social security is going to run out and we'll have to keep working till we're 80. He continued gloating about his paychecks from the government and basically blaming the young folks for the state of the economy until he left, turned back to me and said "Keep working, girls, keep the money rolling into my pockets" while making the "show me the money sign."

This incident occurred a week ago so I've had some time to cool off and begin my new quest-obtain a box of Dunkaroos at any cost. Well, not any cost, I am stuck in retail hell. For those of you who don't remember Dunkaroos, the tastiest treat of the 90s this side of Shark Bites, the snack consists of kangaroo shaped graham cracker cookies with a delicious icing dipping sauce garnished with sprinkles. Simply delectable. When I finally get my hands on the Holy Grail of lunchtime snacks, I will put my hair up in the classiest up-do (side pony), throw on my best long sweater and leggings and with the help of TeenNick's 90s line up, be transported back to that magical era of childhood. That time when the most I had to worry about was someone taking over my role as the Pink Ranger when we were playing Power Rangers or the great debate over which was better- TGIF or Snick? I was indecisive even then, I loved them both. I still dream of one day owning an orange couch. And thanks to TeenNicks line up of beloved 90s classic like All That, Kenan and Kel, Doug and Clarissa Explains It All, it appears I'm not the only one.

As my lovely customer pointed out, my generation got the short end of the stick. And I don't mean Stick Stickly, host of Nick in the Afternoon. According to Blink 182, "I guess this is growing up," but it still feels like my generation has been forced into an early sense of nostalgia for a time when everything seemed safe and you believed your elders when they told you "everything is going to be OK"- even if it was over a scraped knee. Those words are rare to hear nowadays and pretty hard to believe. I know I complain about my job, but at least I have one. And I'm not the only college educated person working a menial job, living at poverty level. We know what we are- a new "lost generation" of sorts. Unsure what is going to happen to us with all the problems of the past and present dumped in our laps. So, please, don't remind us at our crappy jobs that our future is as unstable as the dynamite from the Black Rock (ha! Lost reference in regards to "lost generation." Charlie Sheen would still call that winning). For now, I'll find some peace jumping to the left, stepping to the right and time warping back to the 90s- if only for the few hours at night I get to hang at the local Good Burger or listen to the musical stylings of The Beets. But in the words of Motion City Soundtrack, "The future freaks me out."