Happy Xmas, Boxes are Upstairs (If you want them)

In honor of the anniversary of John Lennon's death, I feel to mention how his Christmas song, Happy Xmas (War is Over), has brought joy to the hearts of the legions of Satan's angels shopping in good old' MCN. Their hearts grew three sizes that day... so they are now visible to the naked eye.

This year, the Dark Lord Sauron gave up on that whole one ring to rule them all thing and sent his army of Christmas shoppers in pursuit of the elusive Christmas gift boxes. And they are not happy if these boxes are not conveniently placed at the register. A lady orc (yes, they've let those loose now), walked up to my counter and was somewhat pleasant enough during the small talk of the transaction. Sometimes grunting is just better than normal conversation. Then at the end she requested gift boxes. I politely directed her to the catalog desk, where the friendly human gatekeeper will assist her. This is when she started baring her teeth and went into battle mode. However, in the middle of her five minute plus rant about how difficult it is to ride a freaking escalator, a drunken hobbit lady walked up behind her and began singing the Christmas song that was playing, which just happened to be "Happy Xmas (War is Over)." A magical thing happened. John Lennon was right- the great battle for the Middle Earth shopping mall was over. The orc and hobbit joined together in song like it was karaoke night at the Prancing Pony and Gandalf himself was there to judge. As the song predicted, the war indeed was over... or was it? After their merry medley, they turned to me and said how nice it was to hear Christmas music. I responded with my own battle cry of "It's not nice if you've heard it since October." They realized they must ban together to defeat their new common enemy- me. A great verbal battle was about to begin, I prepped myself with Aragorn's speech at the Black Gates in my head, but then realized that it did not apply to this situation at all... especially since I am a woman from the East and Eowyn kinda stole my thunder as a woman warrior. But then the drunken hobbit in her haze remembered a new, much stronger and powerful foe- Forever 21. I looked down at my shirt and realized I got the cami at Forever 21, but decided it was best to remain silent. Apparently, their selection of music is not appropriate for the holiday celebrating the birth of uh... what's his name again? Santa?