Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I'm a Brick (pause) House!


Since I've been judged on my weight/looks so much at the hell hole, I decided to to a more appropriate setting for such prejudice. What brought my usual lazy, skin-graft off the couch, air lift out of the house self to dust off the Lucky Charms and head out into proper society? Well, my little demons... errr, customers, of course. Oh, and the fact that I'll get on The Dark Knight Rises set one way or another.

Yup, I sucked up my cinema kid pride and went to the extras casting. The only advice I got (besides my mother's, who was decidedly not sober when I spoke to her) was to be "normal." I'm not quite sure what normal is, but they were casting prisoners (presumably from Arkham) so hopefully this is close enough:



Don't worry. I went as a "business person" (yawn) But that works out because I got to strut around in a dress all day- the bad part was it was also Pride Fest, so I'm not sure if they knew I was actually born female or just a pretty decent impersonator. I just needed a small confidence boost since I had a conversation that went something like this the day before:

Customer: "Where is the petite department?"
Me: *Points* and grunts (My linguistic skills at the hell hole are equivalent to those of Frankenstein's Monster)
Customer: "Well, I'm looking for something for my friend who's about your height, do you wear petites?"
Me: "Well, my height is right, but my proportions are off."
Customer: (in a hushed tone) "Oh, is it because you're wider?"

Next time I'm going to be like "Yeah, I'm a brick (pause) house..." who is desperately trying to claw her way out of the hell hole. Hey, any position on The Dark Knight Rises would be perfect for that. When I returned to work Tuesday after the casting call, it was as if the universe decided to show me a sign and I found this little guy on my register...



...did I mention I'm desperate?

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