I can have Halloween on Christmas if I want.

Ah,it's that time of year again. Where the black and orange combine with red and green to form some sort of baby vomit color. I've already been wished Merry Christmas... twice. Now, I already am stuck in retail hell, please don't remind me of holiday hell. Give me the ghouls and ghosties and goblins...you know, from the real depths of hell. I love Halloween more than Shark Week. And that is saying something. I don't need customers telling me Merry Christmas in the middle of October and reminding me of the most dreaded holiday for the poor souls stuck in retail. Now, they were little old ladies so I will give them the benefit of the doubt and say that they were just confused because the store has already decked the halls with boughs of cheap plastic. I stand behind my appropriate "Bah humbug" responses that I gave to both customers. That one turkey day with the football is already the forgotten holiday, let's save Halloween before the black hole of Christmas sucks it up.... although, unfortunately, most of my relatives still show up at my house the last Thursday of November and we eat turkey... weird, I thought Christmas was the only time we did that (at least I get paid in presents to spend time with my family).

Now, I love the Christmas cookies and the hot chocolate and the giant banquet of food, but I'm an eccentric fat kid so nothing is/was better than dressing in something completely outlandish and getting free candy for it! And the crisp fall air with the crunch of leaves when you walk is so much better than the frigid winter air with the slush of snow. Even nature likes it- colored leaves are so much better than a blank, dismal canvas. So let's just give those North Pole munchkins some more time to make my presents, let the reindeer play a few more games of poker and give Santa and Mrs. Claus some "alone time." Or better yet. Let's extend Halloween and have a three month long celebration.

To quote the gospel writers of my high school years:

We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
And we'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never end