Memo: For useless education, you bitches.

A few days ago the payment for my student loan was due for the month of October. Those people can kiss my ass because I am not sending it in. Seriously. Do they know how many hard-worked hours of hiding in the fitting room playing Boggle on ipod that took? Of course, I need to actually get to work to earn that money and not be stuck in Penn Dot traffic for 2 hours on the damn parkway with a lot of irate people. Now, I understand why they're angry, I am no fan of the wizards of roadwork either, but you do not need to yell at other drivers. Unless, of course, they are not taking their appropriate turn at merging or trying to get all up in my (car's) grill... or trying to put the moves on my car and get all in his trunk... sorry, he doesn't go for that. In that case, I approve people screaming out the window that "We learned to take turns in preschool, but clearly you're a fucking moron so maybe it's time to go back and learn to share and play with the wax fruit!" Just don't take "Sugar tits," cause that's mine... and Mel's. So next time I am stuck in traffic, I will be carrying a supply of Kit Kat bars or Reeses and hand them out to other drivers. Cause to quote the dreamy Zac Efron and crew, "We're all in this together"

Thankfully, it's been rather warm out here in the lovely land of Southwestern Pennsylvania. Unfortunately, that means that girls are taking the opportunity to wear even less clothes with the boots that look like they found a Yeti and decided to transplant its feet onto their own. And then because they think they look good they do the "duck face" where they attempt to poof out their lips to look like Angelina, but end up more looking like a duck. PLEASE just get botox. I will promote plastic surgery to stop girls from thinking that making their mouth look like a horizontal vagina looks good. Even though the best thing about the duck face/ fuzzy boot epidemic is that the fuzzy boots force the gals to walk like ducks... either that or the world should stop focusing on vampires and worry that ducks are actually the virus that is taking over. Fuck the duck face, I like to imitate the Elephant Man in my pictures.