These folks are such birdbrains!... if only they were to come crashing to the ground in mass

One of my teachers in my small hick town high school was a fan of the comedian Bill Engvall. Big surprise. Whenever one of his students would ask a silly question, he would stare at us and just say "here's your sign." Apparently this is the redneck equivalent of a dunce cap. I would like to present these signs to my customers... or they could just read the ones we have posted. Particularly the "Exit/ Line forms on the other side" and "Bathroom that-a-way" signs. It would save me a lot of aggravation and I would not have to grace the customers with allowing them to hear my precious words and sarcastic answers when they wait 10 minutes at the other side of the queue line and then get angry when I tell them to walk around. I would understand if maybe the sign was on the floor or written on the ceiling, but it is at eye level with most people. They might even glance at it, stare blankly for a bit and continue to be a rebel and stand in the wrong spot. I am also sick of answering the question "Where are the escalators?" when the customer is staring directly at the people magically floating above the sign that says "Jewelry." Or "Where's the mall?"... Why, it couldn't be the giant hole in the wall over there this walkway leads to! No, that must be an alternate dimension of the magical land of Oz and we must follow the beige linoleum road!

Maybe the decline of human intellect is a sign of the apocalypse. Or "aflockalypse" as the Washington Post is calling it due to the mass bird death that is apparently plaguing the world. My first thought from my geektastic brain on hearing about these suicidal birds is "We're going to have a Flash Forward!" Then I heard about the mass fish suicide... or whatever it was and became actually concerned. Then I figured it out before CNN, The Washington Post, or my top source for American news- BBC.... The Mega Millions numbers featured 4 of the numbers from the dearly departed ABC series Lost (which I am obsessed with). I was wrong. It's not the prematurely cancelled Flash Forward that is coming to life- it's Lost. Someone on that island forgot to push the button and it set off a burst of electromagnetism that caused the bird deaths and the fish to go belly up. And I suspect that it was Walt since the series clearly established that he has a thing against birds... now if only he could strike down my customers too.