What else can I say but "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"

Some young hooligans rebel by getting things pierced or dying their hair crazy colors or listening to loud music. I rebelled by watching Mary Poppins. To this day, it remains one of my favorite movies... and the one that my father wants to disappear off the face of this earth and burn in hell. I'm not sure if it's because I realized that I could annoy the heck out of him by watching it constantly or I actually liked it that much. Nonetheless, I still sing the praises of Supercalifraglisticexpialidocious loud and proud. When asked to list our top 10 favorite films in one of my film classes, you can bet your spoonful of sugar that I listed Mary Poppins in the top 5... and only got a little bit of slack for it. My dad won't admit why he hates the movie so much. I suppose I would be more concerned if he actually liked it, but he doesn't need to do the cold, demon eyes every time he hears about the nanny who shall not speak its name.

When I heard the touring show of Mary Poppins was coming into town, I had to go. Even if I was the creepy person who went by myself. I asked my mom if she wanted to go and of course she said yes. And somehow coerced my dad into going as well. I'm pretty sure she either beat him over the head or drugged him. Then, things got slightly worse. Our team, the Steelers, made it to the playoffs... and their first playoff game just happened to be scheduled for today right in the middle of the afternoon performance. So I had one disgruntled little Steeler fan on my hands. Luckily, as soon as we sat down he made a friend with one of the other dads that was there. It wasn't at all humiliating that the conversation started with:

Other Dad: ...We decided to take my son, he's six. How old's your's?

My loving father: (long pause, glare in my direction) 23

Thankfully, this is the classy town of Pittsburgh, so it was pretty obvious what Steeler fans were there against their will. Steeler jerseys are now appropriate to wear to the theater and I even saw a few with the Terrible Towel. I am actually rather disappointed no one waved it. So he made friends with those folks that were sitting around us. At least he didn't sneak in a radio like he was going to.

We had him blocked in at least so he couldn't leave until intermission. I actually didn't think he would come back, but he did, looking rather depressed. At first I thought that maybe he was looking for a tv or radio or at least a game update. However, it turns out he found out that Mary Poppins does fly over the audience and he was "looking for a weapon in case she flies our way." Apparently he has dreams of hitting Mary Poppins out of the sky with a baseball bat. And somehow disgruntled remarks just got worse from there...

Daddy Dearest: Think if I go up onto the roof, I can see the game?

Me: Maybe you can go ask Mary to borrow her umbrella.

Daddy Dearest: If I got a hold of her umbrella, you know where I'd shove it.

He actually sat through the rest of the performance with only a few more negative comments. And I did get him to admit that it was pretty impressive. He apparently just doesn't like the storyline. I told him that he should pay attention to it or at least the father's story arc. And, boom, bitch. I won that argument and he was silent during the long exit out of the theater. Until I made my mom snap this gem...

It's going to take more than just a spoonful of sugar to get him to speak to me again.