It's official. Our pierogie races and sandwiches topped with fries and coleslaw lured Christopher Nolan and his posse here for the next Caped Crusader flick. I am bound and determined to at least see the set of this film... and maybe grab onto Mr. Nolan's leg and refuse to let go. So there is a chance that I might get arrested. Please click on the ads to donate to my bail fund. Speaking of Bale, if I can't work on the set, be an extra, or get adopted by Morgan Freeman (because who doesn't love a madcap Punky Brewster-esque situation?); then I want nothing else for Mr. Christian Bale to get angry, yell, and throw a light at me (all so someone can record it and make a techno remix). Once again, please click away to support my bail (Bale?) funds...
Ways I am capable of making Christian Bale angry...
- Screaming "Hey! Hey! Heeeey! King of New York! Yeah, you! Open the gates and seize the day!'
- Sneak into the back of the Batmobile and ask "Are we there yet?" a million times, sing "99 bottles of beer on the wall" and/ or the "song that never ends," or try to engage him in a thrilling game of "I, Spy"
- Dress as Robin and demand to know where my trailer is
- Claim that Jean Claude Van Damme is the true hero that the 'Burgh deserves and Christian Bale would never match the action, drama, or true passion of "Sudden Death." All this while dressed as Iceburgh, of course, because who doesn't love seeing the NHL's most lovable mascot being punched in the face?
- Dress in a raincoat and dance to "Hip to Be Square"...with an axe. And then hand him my business card that will surely look better than his business card... but then he might kill me.
-If these do not work, I am prepared to go after Michael Caine and his best role yet as Ebenezer Scrooge in A Muppet Christmas Carol. I have a Kermit doll and I'm not afraid to use it.
In conclusion, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE LET ME BE ON THIS FILM! EVEN THOUGH THIS BLOG READS TO THE CONTRARY, I ACTUALLY AM QUITE SANE AND COMPETENT.
(If I type in all caps, that construes yelling, correct? So maybe Mr. Nolan will hear me? Hopefully?)
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