George Romero must have worked in retail. Everyday I see more and more where he got his inspiration for mall-people to become mindless zombies in Dawn of the Dead. Customers really do stumble aroundwith glazed over eyes that aren't focused on anything until they see something shiny or some colorful shirt, aka their "Braaaains." Now, us associates on the other hand are more accustomed to repeating the same mindless task over and over and over again, much like robots. Thus the epic battle begins...
Sometimes the zombies bring their creepy-crawlies along. I've heard horror stories before, but I believed them as much as I believed mixing Pop Rocks and soda is fatal... fatally delicious, maybe. Anyway, these stories of terror are about creatures with eight long legs that tag along with their undead companions, hiding in the bag the zombie is about to return to some poor, unsuspecting robot. I don't know if these people are hoarders, arachnologists or just looking to scare the bejeezus out of someone . But it finally happened to me. I had a close encounter of the arachnid kind.
A customer wanted to return something and to protect myself from the insects and bodily fluid that are routinely found in return bags, I just flip it over ad shake the contents onto the counter. Unfortunately, this doesn't work so well when your other hand is on the counter and the itsy bitsy spider comes tumbling out of the bag and onto your hadn. Now, I am by no means one of those girls who is petrified of every thing that creeps and crawls... well, besides babies. I just hate surprises and being startled. Seriously, throw me a surprise party and you're liable to be punched in the face. So I jumped uncharacteristically high for the the little white girl I am and shook the poor creature off my hand. Meanwhile, the customer stared at me like it was MY fault there was a spider in the bag along with a glare of "How dare you?" So I guess the zombies win this time. Unless the spider was radioactive and bit me...as long as I don't start singing U2 songs, I should be OK.
No comments:
Post a Comment