Doctor, Doctor give me the news! I've got a bad case of...sprained ankle

Now, as you may have guessed from previous entries, I'm very athletic and agile. Unfortunately, during my favorite sport, extreme Siberian husky walking, I tripped and sprained my ankle.

She looks sweet and innocent, but she's trying to kill me.

Now, my ankle was already weakened due a previous injury during hardcore going up stairs with laundry. Then, not 2 weeks after that, I managed to hurt it again during zumba... the aerobic dance class that is the latest craze among 40 year old soccer moms. Basically, through a series of unfortunate events, I have come to the conclusion I am not meant to have a right foot...nor, was I meant to be athletic in any way (besides eating competitions), shape (besides round) or form (I eat a lot, I must have good stomach muscles right?). But, in lieu of having Jigsaw trap me in a bathroom chained to the wall with only a dead body and a hacksaw, I decided to just pump myself full of pain pills (aka half a bottle of ibuprofen from Aldis) and wear sneakers to work. Unfortunately, I still have not received my magical pass into the doctor's office so I can't get an official note to break the dress code and actually comfortable at the hell hole. Because the only thing more offensive than talking about Lost in the fitting room, is wearing sneakers... but doctor-approved sneakers are ok. So what's a gal without health insurance to do?

...

.... Dr. WebMd is totally legit AND you can print out the pages after you've finished the symptom checker= Valid doctor's note. At least in my mind. Besides, what are they going to do to me for wearing sneakers? Fire me? But then I wouldn't be able to support the one who started this whole mess...

...Bitch.

(It's ok, she's a female dog, I can call her that.)