It's time for another sit on your ass Sunday!

So I was aiming to be productive today. I really was. Then the Pens lost again after the travesty that was Friday's game (even though fist of steel Johnson did strike again, it didn't make up for losing to the Islanders). After that I just decided "Why move?" and plopped my ass down in front of the tv and attempted to make it "Subtitled Sunday" and put in Krysztof Kieslowski's Blue, but my brain decided that it was too much work to read a movie and I fell asleep. Luckily, I woke up in time to see all of the Grammy awards, starting off with the ginger lady belting like a black woman in tribute to Aretha Franklin. There were other so called "pop princesses" up there too, but she surprised me the most. I love Florence and the Machine, but they just never struck me as a belt your little heart out... Then I immediately regretted waking up because Train won for "Hey Soul Sister," a song that has been played so much that they they are going to start playing it in the Abu Ghraib prison as a more effective form of torture.

And now a few more observations...

-Where in the world was Carmen Sandiego's yellow trench-coated half-alien sister? Why, performing at the Grammys, of course! Not going to lie, Lady Gaga scares me a little bit, but I think that might be because she thinks of crazier ideas than I do. But I thought tonight's performance was actually relatively normal... at least at the start. OK, she was dressed as a color blind Carmen Sandiego for part of it and she emerged from a pod or an egg or something and there was an organ with human heads on display, but the first thing that struck me was "Wow. She is in very high heels and jumping around a lot." Then I realized that there were horns coming out of her shoulders and head.

-Justin Bieber is going to be on CSI. For realsies. I had to Google this cause I thought "Oh, maybe it's like a gimmick that Grammy nominees are taking over CBS shows. No. He is going to be on CSI. Who let this 12 year old take over the world? Excuse me, 17 year old who sounds like he's 12.

-All I have to say about the Muse performance is "prepare to be stalked." And the lead singer kinda looks like Jacob from Lost.

-Will Smith's kids ruin everything. Even Justin Beiber- btw, we really don't need an acoustic version of your "Baby, baby, baby ooooh" song. I did manage to get up the strength to flip the channel over to Family Guy, but unfortunately switched it back too soon and saw the ending of the Biebs... with Will Smith's son. Really? You already ruined The Karate Kid and now you're going after the Bieber? At least he wasn't whipping his hair back and forth like his equally annoying sister.

-Are they even giving out awards at this show? No, really...

-Oh, ok, they are giving awards, but have dropped acid at some point during the country ones because I have no idea what the hell was up with Cee Lo Green's performance of my personal favorite song (that was taken down a step since it was the "Forget You" version.) I think he was trying to outdo the Gaga... but dressed as a giant peacock? And Gwenyth Paltrow showed up and I feared for her climbing everywhere in 20 inch heels. But there were puppets. I like puppets.

-Oh my God! YES! They cloned Johnny Depp! Wait, no, that's John Mayer. How disappointing....and slightly sacrilege. Don't steal Johnny's look.

-OK, Mick Jagger. There's rock legend and there's annoying. You were walking the line, but I'm pretty sure you crossed it. Please retire before you actually become a performing mummified puppet instead of just looking like one. And I like The Blues Brothers rendition of "Everbody Needs Somebody to Love" better.

And now I think it's time to retire to a slightly more comfortable chair. Sitting in front of the computer on an exercise ball is just too much work for a sit on your ass Sunday.

Suck it, Mick Jagger. They did it better.