Thursday, March 3, 2011

I'm like the kid in the Volkswagen commercial!



I spoke to my father after the idiotic exploits of yesterday and how the store seems to be a magnet for the morons and the crazies. His response? "The snow melted, the idiots can find their way out of their houses and through the village now." Thanks, dad for not only passing on your narcissism, but your sarcasm as well. Oh well, I'm still winning... at least according to Charlie Sheen.

I can't afford to hide this anymore. I've tried not to say anything about her until now. When I started this, I said I wouldn't talk about any associate or manager, unless it was a good thing or just a brief mention. But there is one associate that I seem to work with all the time who I can absolutely not stand. There's always one and I just seem to get stuck "working" with her most of my shifts. I can't point out exactly what it is I don't like about her, so let's just say that it's a clash of personalities. Everyday it seems like she has a different ailment- a lot of the time it goes back to menopause, which I really don't want to hear about. Today's complaint was she felt like something was choking her. It was then I realized that I have harnessed the power of the Force!

Since I'm at least a Jedi in training, I decided to try the Jedi mind trick on a few customers. The cheapskates that shop at that store rejoice during the $1.97-$2.97 time.... which just happens to be right now. They bring piles of junk and ugly clothing up to the register exclaiming what a bargain they found. As you can imagine, this gets old very quickly- it's even worse when their eyes are glued to the signature pad, checking the prices. None of the stuff rings up to be $1.97 because the computer only recognizes it as 80% off so we have to manually change it. You can explain to the customer once that you have to change it at the end and they'll still point out everything that rang up too much- as if I would try and make the store more money. So I decided to try my power using the Jedi mind trick. Every time they said something wasn't $2.97, I would look directly in their eyes, move my hands slightly and say "It is $2.97." And everyone stopped questioning me. Found a new trick I have. To control customers it makes it easy, hmmmm...

May the Force be with you.




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