Jeepers creepers! This person was a peeper... of the tom variety. I knew it was going to be a weird day when I looked in my rearview mirror and saw that the person behind me was taking a picture of my car's rear end. I suppose that it could have been worse, but it was still odd. And it just got worse...
Jeepers, creepers! These customers want my peepers. Two women walked up to the register with piles of stuff. It's always the people you don't want to talk to that have piles of stuff. I rang up two or three items when out of nowhere the one woman says "I'm getting plastic surgery done." I had no idea how to respond to that random statement so I just said "Oh. Wow. That's scary. Errr...wait, any surgery scares me." The customer continued on with "I'm going to have your eyes." Not "eyes like yours." No, "YOUR eyes." It began quietly at first, but then the song just crescendoes in my head, "Jeepers, creepers... where'd you get those peepers?" Images of this customer waiting for me in the parking lot ready to scoop my eyeballs out flashed through my mind. So the only response I had was "Your eyes are brown." I thought it couldn't get any worse, but then she responded with "I can get contacts. I've always wanted big blue eyes and I'm going to get them." Luckily, I made it home with my peepers intact and still inside my head. If I see her again, I am locking myself in a fitting room with a butcher knife.
Jeepers Creepers! I can't think of anything else that rhymes... The next round of ghouls were right out of a Dickens novel. They entered the store with the intent of finding something for a relative to be laid out in. One of the associates suggested pajamas, which they didn't like and beelined straight to the $2.97 rack. The poor associate who was helping them spent over an hour with people who probably believe they are total bitchin' rock stars from Mars. Then they proceeded to my register with piles of clothes. It's always the people you don't want to talk to who have piles of clothes. Then, like the looters at the end of A Christmas Carol, they started talking about the will and who was going to get what. And do they really have to pay for the wake? Why do they need an open casket? She looks horrible. Oh, and the funeral was on the one girl's birthday, which is horrible... but she was upset because she couldn't go out after. I only hope that she is planning on drinking her sorrows. I don't care if grandma was the female version of Ebenezer Scrooge, have some respect. And to the girl, who appeared a few years older than me- you should count yourself lucky you had a grandparent around so long.
In honor of the month of St. Patty's day, I will be drinking before work tomorrow. Hopefully it will attract a leprechaun... or at least the crazy (sometimes drunken) Polish lady to come back downstairs and dance.
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