My God, It Even Has a Watermark

Now, I don't have business cards. Big surprise. What would they say?

But I'm considering getting them. Just imagine it. The subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. My God, it'd even have a watermark. All it would say is:

Why do I need this ridiculously flashy business card? Well, since "Pineapple" is the new, hip thing, it also has its own music. Which just happens to be the same music in the make up counter right beside the misses counter. A customer walked up to me the other day and said "I don't know how you can stand three different songs playing." I was rather confused since I usually only hear two (the make up/ Pineapple stuff and the normal store music). She must have noticed the look on my face and continued on with "You know, the make up, that one (pointing at "Pineapple") and the stuff in the rest of the store." At this point I was somewhat sick of this lady. I'm sure she was a perfectly nice person, but we just hear stuff like that all day. It wears on you a bit after awhile. So I explained to her that they were actually the same song. The sound system in the "Pineapple" area is actually a lot better than the make up counter's and the bass is set at different levels. Also, the ceiling being lowered in the make up department, along with the walls around it (it's a "store within a store") makes the reverb a little different. All of these factors make it sound like it's two different songs, but if you listen closely, it's actually the same one. The customer just stared at me wordlessly... and that is why I need my business cards. That would have been the perfect moment to just hand the customer a card and it would have explained everything. Hopefully they would also figure out that I'm rather disgruntled in the job and stop asking stupid question or saying stupid things... but that's giving the customers too much credit.