Live every day like it's St. Patrick's Day.

You're supposed to pinch people who aren't wearing green on St. Patrick's Day. Change the 'i' to a 'u' and I'd be the happiest lass this side of the Emerald Isle. I thought people were supposed to be drinking or something on this beloved holiday.

All through high school and sometimes even now, I aspire to be like Patsy and/or Edina from Ab Fab. So it's a bit British and a bit retro now, but would anyone really be surprised if I just showed up everywhere with a cigarette and a bottle of Stoli? Well, yes. They might wonder how I could afford the Stoli. Now I am starting to rethink my dream after realizing that two of the regular customers are the slightly more obese American versions of my two favorite drunks. I'm not sure how I never realized that before, the one slightly taller, slightly rounder, slightly blonder one is the less drunk, less funny, and less endearing version of Patsy, darling. Which leaves the smaller one with curly, frizztastic hair as Eddie. The scary thing is one of these women has children that they bring into the store. Don't worry, the children are always made up properly...meaning they're wearing make up. At about 5 or 6 years old. Since they are the Americanized version of my favorite British broads, they are just as into fashion as their British counterparts, but they're more into getting good bargains. Most of what they bought today though were for their future streetwalker children, except for the accessories. These two ladies walked up to the counter with a bunch of children's clothing and then a few hair accessories with brightly colored flowers glued to headbands and bobby pins. I bagged the kids clothes and put the accessories in a smaller bag and asked the kids if they wanted to carry their own bag (usually they do). That's when the "Patsy" stopped me and said "Oh, no. These are our's" and proceeded to take one of the headbands with a giant hot pink flower out of the bag and put it in her hair. Well, maybe they're going to San Francisco. I think my favorite part of the transaction though is when something from the children's department didn't have a tag. I tried calling back, but it was taking forever. So I offered to run back and try to find a duplicate of the top and asked where exactly it was. "Patsy" got frustrated and said she would go back and get it. I thanked her and thought that was the end of it. Apparently, it was very difficult and so frustrating for her to go back there because she came back in a huff. Oh, and said to "Eddie" as she was walking away that next time I could walk my fat ass back there. Maybe they were drinking this St. Patty's.... or they're just living everyday like it is St. Patrick's Day.